Help a Child: Volunteer at a Women’s PEP Event

I’ve spent a significant amount of time in prison investing in felons who are enrolled in the Prison Entrepreneurship Program (PEP) and working diligently to improve their character, personal leadership, and business skills, so they can become leaders for their families and community. You only have to spend one day in prison as a business volunteer to be hooked on the value of this program.

After many years, PEP launched its first women’s program in Lockhart, Texas. I’ve always had a heart for women and girls, so naturally, I volunteered to make the long drive to Austin to spend time with these ladies. I wasn’t sure what to expect with the women’s program. How different would it be from the men’s? I was blown away by these 70 women. Let me share why you should consider becoming a volunteer in human transformation.

Children’s Lives Are at Stake

In my conversations with these women, I learned how concerned they were for their children’s welfare and excited to finally be reunited with their kids. Rarely do I hear men talk about their kids in this way. I’m not suggesting PEP men don’t deeply care about their kids; they just don’t articulate it. They focus more on how they’ve changed, will “make it” legitimately in the real world, and ultimately give back.

Many of these men enter a PEP transition program and live in transition housing for months as a bridge to successfully acclimate into community. They need the brotherhood and support of other men making good decisions. PEP women don’t have access to transition housing, and even if they did, I don’t think they would leverage its value, because they need or want to go home and take care of their kids. They want to be moms again.

Most people don’t understand why I volunteer so much of my time and money in PEP? If I ask people to help with the orphan, they open their pocket books, but rarely can I get a new volunteer to PEP. After spending time with the incarcerated PEP women, it made me wonder, “What’s the difference between an orphan and a child who has their parent, especially their mother, in prison?” Isn’t a child of an incarcerated mother far worse than an orphan? Can potential volunteers see that helping a PEP woman is like helping an orphan?

Research (Murphey & Cooper, 2015) shows that 5 million children or 7% of all U.S. children, have had a parent they lived with go to prison. Parental incarceration has been linked with health problems, behavioral problems, and grade retention which carries into adulthood with mental and physical health problems. Although men are the majority of parents incarcerated, mothers are the growing segment of this population.

Murphey and Cooper (2015) also suggest that minimizing the child-parent separation can be facilitated by reducing the stigma and trauma for the child as well as improving communication between parent-child and making incarcerated visits more child-friendly. For most children, the first trauma is loss of an attachment figure, followed by the continued series of negative unintended consequences.

How to Help the Children

When you help a mother not to recidivate, you invest in a child. Perhaps you don’t necessarily have a passion to help adults who made a poor choice and got caught. If you have a heart for children, you can help them by helping their mothers. See for yourself, firsthand, how hard these women are working on their character, leadership, and business plans to give their families a better future. The PEP program builds their self-confidence one assignment and one Toastmasters speech at a time. Be part of a mother’s transformation and help a child.

Reference

Murphey, D., & Cooper, R. (2015). Parents Behind Bars: What Happens to Their Children? Retrieved from www.childtrends.org

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About the Author: Sandra Dillon is a professional coach with an extensive background in leadership, premarital/ marriage, finances, and ministry. She coaches individuals and couples as well as designs and facilitates workshops. She has a passion to help people be the best versions of themselves. You can learn more about Sandra by visiting her at www.shinecrossingsministry.com or contacting her at coach.sandra.dillon@gmail.com

Leaders are Servants, Part 1

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The Essence of Global Leadership

How do you summarize the information and inspiration that is captured and released upon those who come to Willow Creek Church (WCC) in Barrington, Illinois, for the annual Global Leadership Summit (GLS, www.willowcreekglobalsummit.com) or to those who choose to spend two days in a church, prison or other venue across the United States and Canada to soak in the wisdom and blessings via satellite streaming?  I struggle with how to convey the power of GLS to transform your thoughts, thinking and behaviors towards becoming a better leader.  As Bill Hybels, Founder and Senior Pastor of Willow Creek, passionately loves to say, “Everyone wins when a leader gets better.”  My response is, “Amen! I want to hear more.”

In 2015 Greg Lernihan, friend and church member of Willow Creek, suggested my husband and I attend GLS through a satellite location in Houston, Texas.  Fortunately, our home church, Northside Christian, decided to host this event for the first time, where we were blessed to fellowship in the leadership messages with our pastors, members, and visitors. We were so moved by the power of the experience we immediately signed up to attend GLS in the main auditorium at Willow Creek for 2016.  For the record WCC seats about 7,000 people, and the GLS 2016 tickets sold out in about 30 minutes. When 2017 tickets went on sale on August 11, 2016, auditorium tickets sold out within 15 minutes.  When you get a taste of GLS, you understand its power and typically want to make a commitment to return every year.

So what is GLS all about for those who may never have heard of this two-day personal investment event?  In a nutshell, GLS brings together real leaders who are moving forward, learning, struggling and succeeding in their fields of leadership, who have a servant heart, and who desire to share with the world their knowledge, so everyone can become better at leading themselves, their families, co-workers, and their communities.  As such the speakers come from diverse backgrounds and cover leadership in faith-based organizations, politics, businesses, and other non-profit government organizations (NGO). There is something for everyone to say the least.  The messages transcend religion, culture, and lifestyles.

Past leaders whose names you probably recognize include Jack Welch, Jim Collins, Ed Catmull, Brene Brown, Tyler Perry, Carly Fiorina, Louie Giglio, General Colin Powell, Mark Burnett, and Condoleezza Rice. Many other speakers, who may not be as well-known as CEOs and celebrities, were just as impactful in their research findings and areas of expertise.  GLS 2016 did not disappoint and included some new and returning favorite speakers advancing new topics.  This year’s lineup included Bill Hybels, Alan Mulally, Melinda Gates, Jossy Chacko, Travis Bradberry, Patrick Lencioni, Chris McChesney, Erin Meyer, John Maxwell, Bishop T.D. Jakes, Danielle Strickland, Horst Schulze, and Wilfredo De Jesus.

So you are thinking, enough of the background, I get it!  I’m sold on GLS, so what did you learn? Below is just one key message (Part 1) shared by what I thought was one of the most powerful speakers, Bill Hybels, along with my entwined commentary.

Bill Hybels: The Lenses of Leadership

Bill discussed four types of eyewear that every leader should try on and decide how well the lenses are working to correct his/her leadership vision.  The first pair are the red hot passion lenses which beg the question, “Are you presiding over people or energizing people to get from HERE to THERE?” Studies show that a leader gets a 40% performance differential from motivated versus unmotivated people.  So, how does a leader get more passion? Passion is typically inspired by a dream, outrage, or extreme frustration which forces one to become an unstoppable force to create change. When you put on your ruby red eyeglasses, how filled is your passion bucket?  Are you satisfied with the passion you have in life and how you are leading in your workplace and family?  If you’re not satisfied, what are you going to do about it?  After all, it’s the leader’s job to fill his own passion bucket and no one else’s.  If you don’t know where to start, pick up a book of interest, go to places that stir your soul, or hang out with passionate people.  Passion can be contagious!   Help just one person, and you’ll be surprised how your passion bucket begins to fill.

The second pair of eyeglasses to try on are the shattered lenses.  How many leaders are operating in or perpetuating a fear-based organization versus honoring people and building well-functioning cultures that are performance oriented!  Organizations will only be as healthy as the leader’s desire and intent.   Sometimes the shattered lenses are so close to the leader’s eyes that he/she cannot see clearly what the culture has become.  If the leader’s true heartfelt desire is to lead and love well, how does s/he get a true perspective?  If you are a work organization, you can hire an independent firm to survey the culture.  If you are leading your family, you can ask trusted family and friends for feedback without rebuttal or justification.  What many leaders forget as they strive for results is that God only values one thing—people.  God has entrusted leaders with his treasures—his people.  Sometimes leaders lose sight of the journey and its people while trying to reach a goal.

How can a leader coach and support people to be all that God intended them to be?  The first step is to increase self-awareness and expose their talents.  Some people have never self-reflected or taken inventory of their talents and don’t know where to start.  If you don’t know what you’re really good at, ask those who are closest to you.  Most of your friends, family, and coworkers have already done an informal assessment of your strengths and weaknesses. After all, they typically discuss this in small groups around the water cooler or coffee bar.  What can organizations do with this knowledge?  How about matching people’s strengths with roles that would take advantage of those strengths and minimize the impact of weaknesses.

The third pair of specialized eyewear are the performance self-adjusting lenses.  All organizations typically come together for a purpose which usually includes setting and achieving goals whether formal or implied.  Companies have goals for revenue, profit, safety, and customer satisfaction.  Even families have goals such as raising healthy and independent adult children.  Churches have goals such as the number of people served or number of members who have joined.  In general, the speed of the leader equals the speed of the team in achieving their goals.   So this correlation begs the question of how can goals impact the speed of the team and what adjustments do leaders need to make?  Bill professed that WCC was once a goalaholic church with too many goals and not enough people to carry out all the good ideas and initiatives.  You can imagine the results from goal overload, because many of you probably work in that environment today.  Burnout? Feeling a lack of appreciation?  Life becomes more about the goals and processes versus the people and the relationships?  So how can a leader adjust, get his/her team to perform at higher levels, and boost the morale of the team all at the same time?  These are not opposing forces; leaders just need to readjust.

First, let’s break a myth held by some leaders which is people are uncomfortable with performance feedback.  Truth, people want to know that their senior leaders are proud of their progress.  Truth, people want to know how they are doing and where they stand.  Truth, people want clarity and can accept negative feedback if the truth is said with the spirit of love.  Not giving goals and feedback is essentially cruel.  Second, if you can embrace these truths, the next step is for the leader to set the vision/mission for the organization and then ask the team what the goals should be.  Each department should be empowered to develop strategies, decide and own measurable goals, and celebrate the successes.  If you have too many or two few goals you will not have clarity, but entrust your team to find the perfect balance to prioritize and focus on the win.

What is in your leadership rearview mirror?  The fourth pair of eyeglasses that Bill perched atop his nose were the legacy lenses.  Have you peeked lately into your rearview mirror to see what you’ve left behind as you moved people from HERE to THERE?  At least on an annual basis, leaders should reflect on their legacy, self-evaluate, and learn how to do better.  Leadership is about energy, and Bill suggested drawing an energy pie to determine where you are putting your energy: work, family, church, community, others, etc.

God designed us to flourish holistically, and in many cases we are putting all our energy into our work.  How do you need to redistribute your energy across the pie slivers?  What areas should remain untouched, which need a do-over, or perhaps one or more just need a make-over.  It is never too late to change the course if you act now.  Legacies can change in an instant, and the proof was in the simple yet powerful story of the thief on the cross next to Jesus who said, “Jesus remember me when You come in Your kingdom!” And he [Jesus] said to him, “Truly I say to you, today, you shall be with Me in Paradise.” (Luke 23:42-43).  As Bill reminded us of that short scripture, he also mentioned that 43 prisons were watching this leadership summit live.

Bill’s last statement ignited a passion!  My husband and I are executive volunteers for the Prison Entrepreneurship Program (PEP, www.pep.org) in Cleveland, Texas.  PEP are leaders in their quest to transform men, their families, and the community by empowering ex-felons with character-building and business skills so they can integrate into society as healthy and contributing citizens.  PEP’s success is measured by its recidivism rate of 7% for those graduating from the program versus the prison population at large of > 50%.  We need to add the Cleveland Correctional Facility to the list of GLS satellites, so that at least 44 prisons will be streaming GLS live in 2017.  Who wants to be part of the team?  I’m willing to lead!

 

The Scarlet Letter “F”

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In Nathaniel Hawthorne’s fictional setting of Boston in 1642, a woman named Hester Prynne must stand for three hours on a public scaffold wearing the scarlet “A” on her dress.  For what purpose?  So that she could be publicly shamed and humiliated for adultery!  For those not familiar with the classic novel The Scarlet Letter, adultery was against the law of the land and church but also an unforgivable sin whose sentence lived on until death.  Fast forward 375 years when adultery does not carry the same legal or societal stigma and where most surveys reveal that it is more common for husbands and wives to cheat than not over the course of their marriages.

Perhaps because adultery is so common, we have put the Scarlet “A” back into our pocket and now sew on a Scarlet “F”, as in felony, on every shirt lapel leaving prison.  Oh, we may not be as obvious about it in this politically sensitive world, but how we treat ex-felons, who have served time for their crime, speaks volume in what we think of these men and women.  Through our laws, community policies/practices and personal actions we have labeled these released prisoners (a.k.a. felons) with “F” as in “Failure.”   Did you know that when a prisoner is released from prison he gets the clothes on his back, $50, and a bus ticket to anywhere?  What is he supposed to do with those resources for his first night’s lodging and food?  Let’s get real.  What do you think happens next?  With no support he will likely connect with old friends who will help him back into illegal activity to put food in his mouth and a roof over his head.  And so the cycle begins again!  Statistics show that 50% of felons return to prison after 3 years and 75% after 5 years.  These are just the felons who get caught.  Why are these statistics so surprising?  They shouldn’t be.

What are the hurdles for felons who want to legally re-integrate into community?  Well, he has difficulty finding a place to live, because he doesn’t own a home.  He can’t live in an apartment complex, because management discriminates against all felons regardless of the crime, and probably, he can’t stay with relatives where he has worn out his welcome long before his prison sentence.  He can’t get a job, because he doesn’t have any decent clothes for an interview, but if he did, when he checked the felony box on the application he is immediately disqualified.  What would you do?  I expect you are saying to yourself, “Well, he shouldn’t have gotten himself involved in crime to begin with?” Honestly, there is a part of me that wants to sympathize with that statement, but the other part of me knows a different story.  My other half will suggest that the difference between you and an ex-felon can be the simple fact of just getting caught.  How many times have you had one too many drinks, been legally intoxicated, and yet chose to drive home?  For those who made it home safely, we breathe a sigh of relief—no one was hurt or killed.  If you didn’t make it home, you might be in prison for intoxicated manslaughter.

So, you may think, “I see your point; it could have been me, but it wasn’t. Felons are not my problem.”  My reply is, “If you live in this country, it is your problem, because incarceration affects each and every one of us.”  Did you know the average annual cost to hold an inmate exceeds $30,000?  Did you know the real cost to the taxpayer is multiples of that when you factor in lost tax revenue on wages, welfare and aid given to families of incarcerated men, and damages from crime.  For those who are killed or harmed during a criminal act, I cannot put an estimate to the value of life and limb, but at a minimum, lost wages, funeral expenses, and medical bills could be tallied in the total cost.

So what can be done about this problem?  Well, the solution is not by any means easy or short-lived, but we can start by building awareness of the issue, investing in effective transformational programs, and crushing the felon stereotype.   The Prison Entrepreneurship Program (PEP, http://www.pep.org) is giving prisoners the opportunity to change their lives for the betterment of their families and communities.  PEP sees the value of these incarcerated men, and along with other business volunteers, they all come along side those prisoners who are doing the hard work to transform themselves.  This program initially focuses on building authentic manhood and servant leadership and follows with building skills and training in business entrepreneurship.  When program graduates are released from prison, they have access to transitional living and support to help integrate back into society.  Over the past 3 years I have been an executive PEP volunteer and have seen transformed lives and returned dignity in the men we serve.

On April 1, 2016 I honorably participated in a kickoff session for another PEP class who were entering the authentic manhood segment of the program.  Today I received a batch of photos with thank you cards from those men with whom I had the privilege of spending the day in prison.  Yes, they teach these men how to write handwritten thank you cards, a much appreciated and overlook form of business etiquette.  When you see how hard these men work for their future, you can’t help but be inspired to partner with them in their walk.  If you were wondering whether this program works, recidivism is < 7% after 3 years for those graduating from this program. For the fifth consecutive year 100% of the graduates secured their first job within 90 days.  Since PEP’s launch in 2010, 211 businesses have been started with 6 now generating over $1 million/year revenue.  That’s not failure—that spells S-U-C-C-E-S-S!

PEP is a non-profit organization operating only through donations and no government financial assistance.  The local Texas state correctional facilities welcome this program, because it works!  We can only hope that one day, the federal and state governments will fund and incorporate these concepts into the prison system as a whole.  You may not be in a position to volunteer your time or talents or to donate to this worthwhile program, but you can change the way you think about a felon.  You can start to break the felony stigma. Don’t rush to pin the “F” letter on a felon’s collar.  Ask questions.  Learn his story.  Offer support in a meaningful way.  Even the act of listening and empathizing shows compassion and can make one feel valued as a human being.  Like every one of us who has made a mistake, we hope to be judged not for who we were but for who we are actively working to be!  Embrace the PEP Revolution!

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About the Author: Sandra Dillon is a business, life, and marital coach with an extensive background in business development and leadership.  She now coaches others in how to develop and execute their life plans, develop successful businesses, and build better relationships by identifying and living their personal values, enhancing skills and competencies, and being held accountable for executing their defined goals.