Why Marriage or Premarital Coaching?
Couples who have the strongest marriages have both intimacy and purpose. Defining and cultivating these marriage attributes before a couple even says “I do” will be the most powerful investment of time and resources to ensure a happy and lifelong marriage.
What is the most common response when a couple is asked, “Why are you getting married?” The answer is usually, “Because we love each other.” Those intense feelings of love last anywhere from 6 weeks to 24 months, so it is not uncommon for couples to have tied the knot and then sadly one or both of them question why they married the person sleeping next to them.
Premarital and marriage coaching can help couples understand how their personalities mesh, anticipate conflict, provide relationship tools, and align husband and wife toward a vision and mission for their marriage.
Who Should Consider Marriage Coaching?
If you are in an exclusive dating relationship, engaged to be married, or even married for several years, coaching may be a great option to strengthen your relationship or marriage. Many people falsely enter marriage thinking that love will be the glue that keeps the marriage together and allows them to work through conflict. The truth? A great marriage, like any worthwhile endeavor, requires focus, skills, and determination. No one would consider building a house without a blueprint, materials, and the right tools. Why should marriage be any different?
What Are The Marriage Statistics?
Studies show that 87% of young adults plan to marry and 82% expect to be married for life. Research shows that those couples, who participate in premarital coaching before establishing destructive patterns that lead to divorce, are 31% less likely to get divorced and have a 30% increase in marital fulfillment over those who do not. More facts that are worth considering:
- 76% of married couples say they wish they had pre-marriage education
- Couples who do not receive pre-marriage education are more likely to see their problems as atypical and unsolvable.
- 41% of divorced couples say lack of pre-marriage preparation contributed to their divorce.
Unfortunately, couples will spend more on their wedding day than they will invest in their marriage over its lifetime.
Reference: SYMBIS (Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott)
What Are The Marital Coaching Options?
Shine Crossings has three relationship or marriage coaching programs that couples should consider as they discuss how they want to invest and strengthen their relationship. SYMBIS and Prepare-Enrich programs required a couple to complete an on-line survey (35-45 minutes) which then generates a customized report. Marriage on the Rock requires each partner to take the Clifton Strengths Assessment.
SYMBIS (Save Your Marriage Before It Starts)
Provides an interactive report that is unpacked over 4 sessions (1-1.5 hours each). The goals of the SYMBIS assessment are to:
- Obtain a clear picture of the couple’s personal and relational momentum for marriage
- Gain new insights into the couple’s personalities and how they work together
- Learn new skills to strengthen the couple’s relationship for lifelong love
Provides a customized couple assessment that identifies a couple’s strength and growth areas that is unpacked over 8 sessions (1-1.5 hrs each). The program goals are to help couples improve their relationships skills through the use of exercises:
- Explore strength and growth areas
- Strengthen communication skills
- Identify and manage major stressors
- Resolve conflict using the Ten Step Model
- Develop a more balanced relationship
- Explore family of origin issues
- Discuss financial planning and budgeting
- Establish personal, couple and family goals
- Understand and appreciate personality differences
Provides customized private coaching for couples who want to resolve conflict in a healthy manner and help strengthen their relationship. The number of coaching sessions (1-1.5 hrs each) varies depending on what topics the couple wants to focus on. Ideal for every relationship season: pre-marriage, newly married, raising families, and empty-nesters. Using their Strengths Based Assessment the couple will:
- Learn more of God’s design for marriage and its four foundational laws
- Align their expectations of partner roles and responsibilities
- Understand how individual strengths can contribute to conflict
- Appreciate how individual strengths can be used to strengthen the relationship
- Learn of and how to satisfy partner’s deepest needs within the marriage
- Gain positive communication skills
- Understand how to be the lord over their finances
Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding & Study (FOCCUS) offers a Pre-Marriage Inventory and REFOCCUS delivers a Marriage Enrichment Inventory that can be unpacked over 2 – 5 sessions. The program focuses on identifying those relationship areas in which one or both partners believe the topic has not been adequately explored or where the couple disagree. A trained facilitator will help a couple develop deeper understanding by helping a couple explore these topics through open conversation in a safe, confidential setting.
- lifestyle expectations
- friends and interests
- personality match
- personal preferences
Additional sections can be added for specific life circumstances such as interfaith, re-marriage, cohabitation, and stepfamilies. These life areas can become hot topics and should be discussed before marriage. REFOCCUS is ideal for key life moments or marriage transitions when the relationship may need to be redefined such as birth of a child, major illness, job change, moving, retirement, or empty-nester.
To learn more about either coaching program, its cost, and availability, please contact us.