Genesis describes the first man, woman, and marriage. This first book of the Bible also provides insights into God’s original design of marriage as well as helps explain why many of today’s marriage fall short of God’s plan. The challenges and troubles in current marriages are easily explained by the consequences set forth by the bite of forbidden fruit.
God’s Design of Man and Woman
In Genesis 1:26 (NIV), “Then God said, ‘Let us make man [mankind, human] in our image…let THEM rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth…” “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27, NIV). These Scriptures show that in the beginning both man and woman were made in the image of God with neither one or the other above or below each other.
God first created woman from Adam’s rib. She was part of Adam’s DNA: bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh (Genesis 2:23). This description gives deep understanding why a man will leave his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they will become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Before the Fall husband and wife were equal but different with neither one more superior than the other. You could infer that Adam and his wife lived in paradise and had the perfect marriage. And then crawled the serpent through the Garden of Eden playing head games with the woman.
Sin Changed Marriage
….and not for the better. The one bite of the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil changed marriage from that moment on. When Adam and the woman disobeyed God of their own free will, they had to pay a price for their sinful choice. What was their punishment?
In Genesis 3:16, “To the woman [God] said, ‘I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with the pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.’”
Woman’s consequence for her free will behavior was to be lorded over by her husband. She lost her status as an equal to husband. Why is it important to understand the penalty? Because today many marriages suffer, when husbands lord over their wives, a direct result of Adam’s and Eve’s sins. Remember, this was not God’s design of the perfect marriage.
Why Woman Became Known as Eve
Up until the Fall, God refers to the first woman as “wife” or “woman”. She doesn’t get her name until God says that Adam would rule over her, so “Adam named his wife Eve” (Genesis 3:28, NIV). This was the same instructions that God gave Adam when He gave Adam dominion over all living things (Genesis 2:19). Where once Adam and Eve were co-managers of the Garden of Eden, now Adam ruled over Eve. And it didn’t end with the first couple. They set in motion the same sinful outcome for generations.
Marriage Message for Our Time
Many wonder why there’s so much inequity between men and women in general, and even in marriages? Christian marriages no less. The simple answer is the consequence of sin in the Garden of Eden has propagated through family legacies.
God didn’t design marriage for the husband to rule over his wife, yet the Fall explains the fight that started with the first bite of the forbidden fruit. As Christians we should know what God’s design for marriage truly is and to fight to live it out in our own marriages. Are you treating each other as equals? If not, you have knowledge and free will do choose better for your marriage.
About the Author: Sandra Dillon is a professional coach with an extensive background in premarital/marriage, finances, ministry, and leadership. She coaches individuals and couples to find their purpose, be the heroes of their own life stories, and help them be a shining light in this spiritually dark world. You can learn more about Sandra or engage her as you coach by reaching out to her at shinecrossings@gmail.com
“Olly olly oxen free, Jezebel and Leviathan.” The game is over. We know who you are and what you do. You are the thieves that “come only to steal and kill and destroy…” (John 10:10) relationships, personal identities, and livelihoods. We are calling you out and banishing you to join the other unholy spirits in your hometown of hell.
Do you have a feeling or inkling that these spirits may have any influence in your life today? If so, don’t feel ashamed, embarrassed, guilty, or even beat yourself up. These spirits are invited into a child’s life at an early age based on your parents’ behavior. When a child doesn’t feel loved, lives in fear, has his/her heart broken, and lacks a sense of security or protection, the anger and bitterness open a portal for the spirits to enter and take up residence in the child’s mind.
Are you tired of failed relationships, torment, misery, anxiety, and conflict? If you believe you’ve got a spirit influence, the only way to rid yourself of them is to forgive and repent. You and Jesus hold the power to bind and caste out the devil.
The discipline of asking open-ended questions paired with intentionally listening is a powerful gift in building intimacy. Intimacy is built first on a foundation of trust and then a belief that your partner truly knows you. You may have the trust part down but struggle with how to build greater connection. If you want to learn more about your partner and what makes him or her tick, you need to ask lots of questions.
Many people are not gifted in the art of formulating and asking questions, so let me offer 10 questions that will help you know your partner at a deeper level. Each question should also be followed with asking, “Why?”
If you asked 10 divorced people why their marriages ended, mostly likely they would admit it wasn’t just one thing. In my work as a premarital and marriage coach, couples often ask what are the most common issues that cause married couples to divorce. I agree it’s not one thing but a host of unresolved issues. Based on my informal research and experience, below is my Top 10 List of Reasons Why Couples Divorce in the order that they have expressed themselves in my practice.
And while you’re talking about sex, have fun. Some spouses only feel comfortable with the missionary style, because they believe anything else is dirty. Have you read the book of Song of Solomon? If not, I suggest you read it once, if not twice. Unless its Biblically forbidden, what goes on between two consenting spouses is fair game. Act out fun fantasies, oral sex, different positions, and throw in some sex toys if interested. Bring energy into the marital bed.
As a premarital and marriage coach, I often hear boyfriends and husbands say, “She’s wants to control everything in our relationship,” “If I don’t do it her way or when, she gets mad at me and just does it,” and “I’ve given up trying. I let her tell me what to do and avoid the fight.” As a man, boyfriend, or husband, do any of these statements ring true in your relationship or have you distanced yourself from relationships to avoid the drama?
I struggled with a title that would do justice in describing my experience volunteering as a relationship coach at a marriage seminar for 30+ couples in Lockhart’s Women’s Prison. What words could I share that would capture your attention to read and embrace the incredible impact that Greg and Melissa Alvis have every month on the couples who spend a full day in prison with the intent of strengthening their marriage.
Greg and Melissa relate to these couples, because they are the heroes and authors of their own marriage story. The defied the marriages statistics. Greg was incarcerated for over 20 years, entering prison at the age of 26. Without a doubt, they struggled to keep their marriage alive, but their marriage survived 22 years of incarceration. They now have a powerful marriage testimony to share with other couples, who can travel their own path but end up in the same position as Greg and Melissa. Under the ministry of Ephesians 521, they taken their powerful learnings on the road, and the feedback is both emotionally moving and priceless.
As a marriage coach (
Shine Crossings Ministry 