Sin is a topic that Christians love to debate. Everyone seems to have an opinion on sin. Is one sin worse than another? Are all sins equal? How will God hold us accountable for our sins when we get to heaven? How should sin be punished? Who should be the punisher? The list of “sinful” questions goes on and on?
I’ll admit two things about sin: (1) I have as many opinions on sin as you do, and (2) I also believe I’m probably dead-wrong about my opinions. Why? Because I believe that our human minds can’t comprehend the fullness of God, the dimensions of His universe, and the depth of His views on sin. We can’t escape sin, but we can do our best to identify it and understand how it shapes our worldview and impacts our relationships. Only then can we choose to do something about our sin.
Sin That Unravels Relationships
What’s the greatest sin that prevents or unravels connection with others? After much thought, I believe it’s the sin of Judgment. Sure, many things can undermine relationships such as one person cheating or abusing another. Most people would easily agree that these extreme behaviors are sins. However, your connection with your mother, father, siblings, children, co-workers, spouse, and friends are likely on a continuum of closeness dependent on the number and quality of your interactions.
What’s happening when you feel more or less connected? I’d suggest you feel closest when you feel accepted, regardless of whether the other person agrees with you and that you feel more distant when you feel judged. Judgment causes separation.
Judgment
How easy would it be for you not to judge someone? Difficult? We judge everything from (1) what people wear, (2) the tattoos, piercings, and education they have, (3) how they speak and the words they use, and (4) what type of car they drive, house they live in, and what job they hold. These are just a few areas of judgment. How often do you find yourself making unsolicited suggestions in how someone should change for the better? Even if you don’t say it, how often do you think it? Despite your honorable intentions, I bet he or she felt judged. The result? Likely more emotional distance between the two of you.
Can you accept someone without agreeing with them? Suspending judgment means you will still love and accept the person and be appropriately helpful even when you don’t agree with their opinions, decisions, and behaviors. I’m not referring to extremes, where severe personal boundaries and protection are needed, but in your typical relationships.
How to Get the Plank Out of Your Eye
If you want to grow closer to someone in your life, think about how the sin of your judgment is interfering with your relationship. Will you love and accept someone without judging them? One of my favorite Scriptures:
“You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:5, NIV).
I keep this Scripture in the forefront of my mind, because I wrestle with this very sin more than any other. My husband even has permission to quote me that verse when he sees the judgment coming out, and he has said it a few times. All of us need a little reminding at least every once in a while.
About the Author: Sandra Dillon is a professional coach with an extensive background in leadership, premarital/marriage, finances, and ministry. She coaches individuals and couples to be the best versions of themselves. You can learn more about Sandra by visiting her at www.shinecrossingsministry.com
I’ve spent a significant amount of time in prison investing in felons who are enrolled in the 
After many years, PEP launched its first women’s program in Lockhart, Texas. I’ve always had a heart for women and girls, so naturally, I volunteered to make the long drive to Austin to spend time with these ladies. I wasn’t sure what to expect with the women’s program. How different would it be from the men’s? I was blown away by these 70 women. Let me share why you should consider becoming a volunteer in human transformation.
Many of these men enter a PEP transition program and live in transition housing for months as a bridge to successfully acclimate into community. They need the brotherhood and support of other men making good decisions. PEP women don’t have access to transition housing, and even if they did, I don’t think they would leverage its value, because they need or want to go home and take care of their kids. They want to be moms again.
Enrique and the boys will finish drilling the well next week. Although we hit water which would normally be enough for normal living activities such as drinking and cooking, our goal was to hit ~ 150 barrels a day to sustain the commercial fish and agricultural projects. No drilling today but that didn’t mean we wouldn’t celebrate. After breakfast we headed into the compound where the boys were sitting in white plastic chairs awaiting our team’s arrival. The podium and band were setup.
Carlos’ proudly accepted his plaque, and of course, no group was to be left out. The Dillon’s Friends received a certificate for coming all the way from America to help Freedom’s Path. I loved how everyone who contributed was recognized. And Casey received a special reward—an El Salvador scene painted on wood with the drillers’ names signed on back. A prized possession by any definition.
The boys cheered when the Director mad the announcement that our team was gifting each boy a pair of white Crocs and a toothbrush/toothpaste [Thank you to all the people back home who contributed to the gift]. Glad we could give them a little extra on top of the well. What they didn’t know was their best gift was yet to come, a sermon delivered by Angel who is the poster child of a man brought back from the abyss by a loving Jesus.
Before leaving, we were asked to form a circle. Then the boys made a circle around us and started praying and laying hands on us. Afterwards, both the team and boys were hugging and crying. Many boys desperately wanted us to stay—to be a light in their days of darkness. I wish I could stay.
Thursday was mostly spent undoing and doing what we had spent the week doing [tongue twister]. The team pulled out over 200 feet of pipe and placed the second rig to continue drilling. The process wasn’t easy for several reasons. The second rig was in bad condition and needed a major overhaul. We bandaged up the rig as best we could and then re-drilled through the same hole. The second drill is never a perfect fit, so the bit hit the sides of the wall based on the drilling angle. With that said, re-drilling the same borehole is definitely easier and goes much faster than the first time.
If all went according to plan, this morning would have been the installation of the pump guts and well dedication. We would have been saying our “good-byes” and heading home with the satisfaction of a job well done. God had a different plan.
Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. Whoever made that quote famous wasn’t on our mission trip. We were up at 5 am to get to the drill site early and figure out how we could go deeper. Make my coffee to go!
By these stories, you can assume the gangs are running the prison, which also explains why the boys eat so well. The chef, Noe, is a great cook, and we felt we were eating well when compared to meals served on other trips. The boys were fed the same food Noe served us. I’ve eaten prison food at the Cleveland Correctional Unit, and I would be down tens of pounds if served a steady diet of American prison food. On this mission I may be taking back to the States a few extra—compliments of Noe.
After praise and worship, Kathy told a Bible story, and then Marcus took the boys on a journey that included his testimony. Marcus’s words were so true. Prison may look different around the world, but the condition is the same, and the solution starts with examining what’s in the heart. Marcus has a gift of delivering a story, and I truly believe he needs to continue pastoring to others.
We then pushed the tables and chairs to the sides of the room and played a soccer game with 4 teams, one soccer ball, and four plastic chairs. One person from each group were on the “field” with the objective of kicking the ball between the legs of another team’s chair for the score.
Marcus once again gave his testimony. When we asked whether anyone had any questions, they became silent, tough guys. Despite their stoicism, they finished the lesson book, and then Charles and Marcus took the boys out to play basketball and soccer.
The “bit” crew arrived back—all hands on deck. The boys returned to help with the drilling which pressed on despite that dusk was falling fast. It was obvious we weren’t dedicating the well tomorrow. With that said, we needed to keep drilling to have a shot at a Friday well ceremony. Angel said Casey and two team members could stay behind with him and Enrique to drill into the night. Mark and Will volunteered to stay. The boys, who are usually locked up by 5 pm, got special permission to stay out with the team. If all went well tonight, tomorrow the team will install the casing, the pump guts, and pour the pad.
I love this team and how engaged they are with each other and the community. I love how mission changes you. I love how Will was changed by his first trip to Honduras and his marriage was subsequently blessed. I love how Casey was changed during that same trip, which led to take her tenth LWI with us and sponsor the well in her grandson’s name. I love how Marcus and Charles just had to come on this mission, because their hearts ache for prison ministry.
I asked Charles, Darin, and Roberto to join Norma, Kathy, Peggy, and me to share their testimony and talk about leadership. From our limited time with the boys yesterday, I felt they really needed positive adult male interaction and conversation. Many of these boys don’t have fathers in their lives, and many are themselves absentee fathers by 16. As a leadership coach, I was prepared to lead a discussion on what it means to be a leader, but I knew my words would not have the same impact as those spoken by a man. Darin, can you help?
Charles blessed us with an a cappella rendition of Amazing Grace followed by much needed encouragement to the boys that their current circumstances did not define their future. Charles’ testimony was the proof, and Peggy followed by sharing her experience of being in emotional prison during that time when Charles was serving time. The boys needed to hear the heart-felt story from this mother/son duo and how proud Peggy was of Charles. With their arms around each other, they inspired hope.
Pastor David of Orphan Helpers is an influential leader for these boys. Using the soccer balls we brought, he taught us some creative games to play inside the four concrete walls. We laughed and cheered for each other. We prayed out as a group before the team left for lunch. One of the boys, Emerson, claimed he was prophetic and wanted to pray for Darin, Charles, Peggy, and me. What a touching and special treat.
What surprised our team was the older boys’ lack of response to Charles passionate question, “Do you want life or death?” Our team all raised our hands to “we want life,” but the boys stayed silent. We knew many were Christians based on the Bible study discussion yesterday afternoon. The peer pressure to hold the line was a formidable force. Hopefully when their heads hit the pillow, they will think of their day and make a commitment. We ended the afternoon handing out toothbrushes, toothpaste, and Spanish Bibles.
We joined the drillers! Slow progress! We walked up to Angel, who was sitting and talking with Rafael. Rafael had a unique story in this prison, although I would guess, not as unique by general Salvadorian standards given the proliferation of gang membership throughout the country. He was free to roam near the team and drill site for a couple hours. Rafael lived in a room near the guardhouse that looked like solitary confinement. Most of the day, Rafael was able to look out of the vertical bars of his locked half door. We learned Rafael had a 5-year sentence, spent 1 year in the general population, and had lived 2 years in this solitary confinement.
As we walked out of the restricted area towards our table where Noe, the prison chef, would serve us lunch, the administrative staff pointed out the wall mural of the American Bald Eagle and the El Salvador Turquoise-browed Motmot. Some of the boys had painted this mural as a symbol of our two teams coming together for the purpose of drilling this well. The mural was named “Brotherhood”.
We drilled about 30 meters, struggling through clay, and eventually hit water but not of the quality or quantity needed. The prison had access to city water, but as the city had grown out towards the prison, water supply had become more of an issue. Not only did the prison need access to consistent water, but enough to sustain the projects they wanted to build such as the tilapia and agricultural farms. One hundred fifty-five barrel of water per day was the target supply for irrigation and fish ponds. Fenced land next to the drill area was being cleared to accommodate these projects.
We caught dinner on the road, stopping at a restaurant where we introduced a few of our mission mates to authentic and delicious pupusas. Back at Hotel Los Hereos, we suffer through cold showers, and afterwards, several of us hung around talking about previous relationships, specifically what we learned from our first marriages. We talked until we dropped. I love mission trips and the chance to check out of the first-world and spend time with folks discussing God, real life struggles, and learnings.
I asked Carlos, the LWI El Salvador Director, if we could drill a well in another school, because it’s so much fun to spend time with hundreds of kids. Shouldn’t be a problem, and LWI found a sponsor for the well—Real Life Christian Church in Chesapeake, Virginia. We thought we were set.
LWI had never drilled in a prison before—unchartered territory. A few times, we thought the prison mission wouldn’t happen. Yet at every turn, God was faithful, and we pressed on. Carlos had to get permission from LWI Headquarters to drill in a prison, find a new well sponsor, and secure sufficient safe housing for the team. We’d be too far away from the LWI house south of San Salvador to stay there. We waited for LWI Headquarters. Finally, they said, “Yes!” Casey’s other LWI team waned, and she brought her well sponsorship—dedicated to her grandson—to our team. Sponsorship—check!
Shine Crossings Ministry 